He may be viewed as unwelcome in the UK by some, but if one Somerset micro brewer has his way, Donald Trump is set to make his presence felt through a controversial new high strength, methane-infused bitter.
Jed Pendleton, owner of Boon Breweries in Yeovil, is using popular crowd funding site, Kickstarter, in an attempt to raise £250,000 to fund a line of limited edition ‘Donald’s Trumps’ beer.
The new brew is set to contain the methane of the flaxen-haired megalomaniac billionaire – an unintentional by-product given off through the sheer intensity of his rousing public speaking – the resultant gas having been stealthily collected by an ‘anonymous aide’.
Contrary to modern brewing practices, methane is the key to a new fermentation process, created by Pendleton and it is hoped – with the addition of Trump’s gas – that the new bitter will be the most carbonated, high-strength ever bottled.
Said Jed Pendleton: “Yes, it goes against everything ever written about beer and, yes, it’s unconventional, but I don’t care – modern day micro brewing is about getting yourself noticed and doing something edgy and fresh.
“We see Donald Trump in the news every single day, saying something stupid, offending people, not really understanding the world around him, but at no point has anyone stopped to say ‘what if we could harness his farts for a new beer’. Questions need to be asked about why that is.”
Unbeknownst to the perma-tanned magnate and TV star-turned-tub-thumping-tyrant, Pendleton has been in talks with one of Trump’s closest US aides, codenamed ‘Deep Guff’ who initially noticed the ‘eerie’ release during an early Alabama caucus and has been collecting the gas via Tupperware ever since ‘for insurance purposes’.
The aide is, according to Pendleton, in receipt of 10 metric tonnes of gas and willing to ‘talk serious business’.
“Apparently he ‘off-gasses’ like one of those futuristic mattresses or a traction engine at a steam fair – he’s always at it! Now is the time to collect his gusts and profit from him before he gets the nuclear codes and blasts us all to Bethlehem.” Added Jed.
Pendleton is looking to raise £250,000 via Kickstarter – £150,000 for the brewing and bottling process, £50,000 for a specially constructed, hermetically sealed gas transportation unit and £50,000 in air fares.
If successful, ‘Donald’s Trumps’ would be brewed, bottled and available to the on-trade in time for November’s Presidential elections, with stakeholders promised a four pack of the new beer as recompense for donations.
To find out more about Boon Brewery and donate to their Kickstarter project, click here: www.kickstarter.com/boonbrew